Wednesday 29 January 2014

Top 10 Right Wing Rock Stars

Hey, I know 'Right Wing ' isn't necessarily the 'right' wing. I don't like either wing, politics just protects the interests of those rich bastards who have a nicer car than you. But some rock stars, despite their clear disdain for the 'rulebook', for some reason bloody love being Right Wing. A bit hypocritical don't you think?! I do. So I'm doing a top 10 to expose these weirdo's, not saying that the higher up the list they are the better, more how much harder it is to get your head around how they have such views.

 
10) Brian Ferry


                                                               
 
He likes wearing makeup, zebra print jackets, taking plenty of drugs and having feathers in his hair. Yet he also likes fox hunting, and has an odd admiration for Nazi paraphernalia. You're a ferry silly boy Brian, although I do love your music.  
 
9) 50 Cent
 
 
When he's not thinking about cheddar, clearing snow off peoples driveways then charging them $ despite being a millionaire, or giving tips for men on how to avoid masturbation, he's thinking about George Bush, once saying 'I wanna meet George Bush, just shake his hand and tell him how much of me I see in him.' Ok ok I know he's no rock star. He's a rap star. But that quote is priceless.
 
8) Alice Cooper
 
For someone with a sissy first name, I mean he may as well be called Wendy, Alice in Wonderland Cooper it turns out is staunchly right wing, saying once that bear hating Sarah Palin was 'a breath of fresh air'. Odd for a man who used to be in a drinking club with John Lennon. Would he have wanted Nixon to deport his friend in the 70s?! Hmmm......
 
7) Joe Perry
 
Once acquiring the joint handle 'The 'Toxic Twins' with Steven Tyler for their excessive drug consumption, Perry, that leather pants wearing archetypal rock star, has since described himself as an 'old school Republican' and tweeted support of 'freedom of speech' concerning the Duck Dynasty homophobic controversy. Watch some Donald Duck instead next time Pezza, then social media about DD's views on Humphrey the Bear.
 
6) Gene Simmons
 
 
 
Mr Simmons in recent years, for a man who sang on the song 'Love Gun', and suggested he could fellate you from miles away with his tongue, has become decidedly less rock n roll. These days he hates alcohol, doesn't wear make up anymore, and supported Mitt Romney in 2012 by saying 'America should be in business and it should be run by a businessman'. Yawn.
 
5) Kid Rock
 
Bleurgh. Really?! Does this man really get a seat on the plane? The ultimate un-cool wanna be rock star just looooves the Republicans, he always supports their campaigns, had his song 'Born Free' become Mitt Romney's campaign anthem, has had sex with their presidential candid... oh blimey who cares. Have you heard his take on Sweet Home Alabama?! Have you seen the video?! I mean come on. His 'I could quite easily be a trucker ' schtick may work for Pamela Anderson (to be fair respect for that) but you are just not cool son.
 
 
4) Johnny Ramone
 
The Ramones are what Punk Rock is all about, rebels who just did not give their concern to any authority. But one rebel rebelled the rebelliousness. If he was a shape he was a pararebelliogram. Claiming Reagan was the 'greatest president of his lifetime', proclaiming his love for George Bush at the Ramones 2002 Rock and Roll induction in his ripped jeans and leather jacket, being a huge supporter of the NRA, and most significantly stealing Joey Ramones girlfriend and the resulting song written by Joey being called The KKK Took My Baby Away', have all cemented Johnny Ramones as Punk's most obvious Conservative.
 
 
 
3) Ted Nugent
 
Ted Nugent is what is known as 'Conservative Extremist'. Actually I'll rephrase that; Ted Nugent is what is known as 'bat shit insane'. Telling Obama to 'suck on my machine gun', and claiming, 'If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year', the Nugget as he's known by me, is a fan of fossil fuels, guns, hunting, and claims that despite having gay friends 'I’m repulsed at the concept of man-on-man sex, I think it’s against nature'. He's now thinking about running for the 2016 Republican candidate. He should probably work on his public speaking.
 
 2) Dave Mustain
 
 
 
Where to start. The former crack smoking Thrash Metal icon has got more and more crazy Conservative the older he's got. Mustang's views are of the Kentucky variety, and he's even more Conservative than Ronald Reagan and Donald Trump's love child. He's not a fan of Mexicans, reaaally not a fan of Barack Obama (claiming he wasn't born in the US, and that he secretly organised the horrific Batman movie shooting in 2012), and saves his biggest beef with homosexuals, slagging them off relentlessly for just about anything. What did they do to him?! Some may even like some of the lovely fox trots that he's written.
 
1) Eric Clapton
 
Ah dear. This is the ultimate mind fuck. For a man who's used the influence of black musicians in so much of his music, who has spent his life playing with musicians from all over the world on stage, a man who got to number one with 'I Shot the Sheriff', is also a man who inspired 'Rock Against Racism' following his disgusting racist rant about immigrants in the UK at a gig in 1976, proclaiming 'I used to be into dope, now I’m into racism', and then spouting some turd I don't want to repeat here because its just horrible. Ok sure he was fucked up at the time, but even with such a feeble excuse Clapton could at least have said something along the lines of 'sorry'. Nope, instead since the incident he's either tried to play the 'I don't really understand politics' chestnut, or just agreed with himself claiming his view on immigrants haven't changed. I'm not saying he had to come out and tell people to hug trees, but he could have acknowledged what he said was out of line. Legendary guitarist, silly man.