Top 10 most impressive beards in the music business

The best of them had beards. Jesus Christ. Leonardo da Vinci. William Shakespeare. Charles Darwin. Even life insurance fraud idol, the canoe boy himself John Darwin, had one. So in celebration of these bearded dragons, this week I shall be compiling the best ten beards of all time in the music business. No we’re not tired of beards quite yet. Just because a load of hipsters have them doesn’t mean they’re not still cutting edge. I mean look at this fella. Just look at him.

       

German philospher Friedrich Engles raised the bar of the eternal male beard growing competition. He probably has more knowledge in that huge beard than any of us have in our tiny little brains. Lets see if anyone in this list comes even close to this leviathan of a beard.

10) Dave Grohl

Grohl has looked soo much cooler since having a beard. In fact you could argue he has been the poster boy for the modern middle aged man ideal of growing a beard to look that bit more youthful. 

9) Rick Ross

Rick Ross may not be to everyone's tastes, especially the Miami police department and 50 Cent, but even those guys can't deny he looks like a right badass with that beard. Don't try and tell him you don't like his beard to his face; as you may end up like Milhouse did when he gave Nelson Muntz a love note from Lisa Simpson.

8) Jim Morrison

Another beard pioneer. Jim Morrison's beard growing was one of the first 'when the wheels come off' beards which have become synonymous with loveable rouges who get a bit troubled and become a bit crazy. Joaquin Phoenix in I'm Still Here and a fired Ron Burgundy in Anchorman are two weak examples of this.

7) Barry Gibb

Just look at the man. Barry Gibb was part lion, part man, making it ok for the first time for men to walk around with their chest hair out, wear silver leather jackets, and to move to the irresistible sounds of a funky disco bass-line. 

6) Dennis Wilson

Try growing one of these. Just try it. You'll never succeed. Because you don't possess Dennis Wilson's rugged face. The photo itself sends out several different signals. In some ways he looks like a lifeguard from a 70's cutting edge seafront drama, in other ways he looks like a huntsman capable of wrestling a bear, and in other ways looks like a tired and overgrown drug addict. I think he's all three.

5) Scroobius Pip

Criminally unheard of, Scroobius Pip, the bard of Essex, displays an impressive beard which has caused many a fan to query if he's a muslim. Which he is not. But enough about that, stop reading this blog and listen to his music. Or put his music on in the background and read the rest of this blog. There, that would be better.

4) Zakk Wylde

Who else can boast at having a longer beard than the rest of us, then have a further girth of pony tail below THAT beard. It almost looks like a tidy nettle patch. Ozzy Osbourne's old guitarist has a longer pony tail than your wife. ON HIS FACE.

3) George Harrison

Those Beatles lads all grew beards at one point and it was always going to be difficult to choose who had the best one. But George always seemed to pull it off the best. He appeared as a mystical, almost wizard type man, one who appears out of nowhere in the woods and tell you to follow him, and his army of wildlife who are entrapped by his enchanted flute playing, to the horizon.

2) ZZ Top

These boys (well two of them, ironically the only member without a beard has the surname… yes yes we all know) have had foot-long beards since the 70’s, turning down million dollar offers by corporate shaving brands to shave them off. Well done I say. Well done I say also, for managing to get laid so frequently despite having those mangy beavers hanging from your faces.

1) Rick Rubin

The man who looks like the almighty himself, Rubin has possessed an unrivaled beard for decades, producing albums for acts such as Black Sabbath, Red Hot Chili Peppers, AC/DC, Beastie Boys, LL Cool J, Public Enemy, Run-DMC, Aerosmith, Slayer, Jay-Z, Beastie Boys, Rage Against The Machine, Johnny Cash, Metallic and Kanye West, all the while not giving a fuck and sporting his gargantuan facial locks with pride.